The Pursuit of Wooing

The Pursuit of Wooing

            Recently I read a post by a friend about the semantic difference of “pursuing” and “wooing” namely in the context of dating.  Here is a link for that blog article, if you want to read it.  It got me thinking!

            I know it is kind of ridiculous, but if you look at the definition of those two words and the differences, culturally I believe we are into “pursuing” rather than “wooing”.  It is sad to say that even in “Christian” circles.  “Christian” men and women are much more interesting in the pleasure rather than the commitment of a relationship or romance.  I do believe that I am the minority when I say that I am more interested in the commitment with the pleasure than just the pleasure (the minority even in the “Christian community”).  We need to go back to wooing a woman, being committed, marriage!

            As believers in Christ we are able to go against the cultural norm.  All human race is sinful, our sin is the problem.  But we, as believers, are sinners saved by grace!  With that salvation comes a changed life, attitude, character, and worldview.  Do not expect a sinful culture to accept us, but we cannot accept and bring in their bad habits.  I think most of the evangelical Protestantism has accepted the cultural calling of “tolerance” when Scripture teaches against that.

            I’m sure that we have all heard “love the sinner, hate the sin”.  True, true, true and I will not deny that.  BUT that doesn’t call us to accept the sin in the sinner.  We must confront them on that.  Believers are changed individuals, changed by God’s grace! Let’s start acting like it!

            Now off this rabbit trail, it is relevant though.  We as “Christians” have begun to accept the pleasures without the commitment and that is unacceptable in God’s eyes.  (Underneath this whole argument is a case for Lordship salvation, but that is another argument for another day).  This is a call to go against the cultural norm and as men start taking responsibility.  Let’s “act like men” as Paul states in I Corinthians 16;13.  We’ve lost that in our culture.  No responsibility, we blame others, it is never our fault.  No responsibility, we’d rather sit on our lazy butts than help someone else!

            To the woman I say, don’t be a feminist.  God created us differently for the different roles that show our perfect companionship when fulfilled properly.  Let the man be a man, taking responsibility, initiation, leadership, submit to him (see The ‘S’ Word).  Help him be a good leader, teach him, he is to be a student of yours!  Men we are to be students of the woman we love.  We will learn from her, what makes her click, what makes her feel most loved, cherished, honored.  When we do that, we begin to woo, rather than pursue!

Extreme Labels

Extreme Labels

            I’m reading through a book entitled “The Potter’s Freedom” by James White.  This book is a response and rebuttal to Norman Geisler’s book, “Chosen But Free”.  These books have to do with the hot topic of Election versus man’s free-will.  Great topics that I will NOT discuss, at least in detail, in this post, what I want to talk about is labeling yourself.

            In Norman Geisler’s “Chosen But Free” (CBF from now on), he asserts that John Calvin was not really a Calvinist.

            (For those who don’t know a “Calvinist” believes that man is Totally Depraved, they cannot choose an all-loving God, for they are dead in their sins.  Heaven is not an option, only Hell.  Next a “Calvinist” believes in the Unconditional Election of God.  God chose those who would believe in Him before the foundations of the world.  The Atonement of Christ is Limited, in that Christ died and saved those whom God had chosen, contrary to the opinion that Christ died for all, meaning the whole world.  The Grace that God gives is Irresistible to those whom it is poured upon.  When God reveals himself to a man, they have but one “choice”, respond to it and submit to it.  Finally, that person will persevere as God will protect those whom He has chosen through the trials and persecutions of the world.  They will not “turn their backs” or reject God throughout their life in this earth.

            This is a very limited and brief definitions of the “5 points of Calvinism”, in short are Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints)

            The chapter I just reached and am reading through in “The Potter’s Freedom (PF from now on) James White is refuting CBF’s assertion that John Calvin did not believe what is affirmed as “Calvinism”.

            This is all background as to what I want to talk about: Labeling yourself.  Is it necessary? Have we labeled ourselves based on others beliefs instead of checking for ourselves what Scripture really states? Do we rely too much on these labels and interpret Scripture through those lenses?

            For a while I relied on these labels.  I wanted to figure out what I believed and these labels were the easiest way to figure that out.  I was confronted by that by my father and constantly encouraged to figure out what I believed for myself using Scripture.  So I am!

            Over this past summer of 2012, I made a striking discovery in Romans 9 concerning the doctrine of Election.  That started this whole thing as I seek exactly what I believe.  But what about these labels?  Is there any use to them?

            Why do I label myself a 5-point Calvinist?  It can seem that we worship and follow the points of Calvinism rather than Scripture itself.  We get wrapped up in our Calvinism and we forget to interpret Scripture with an open mind.

            I guess before I go on to clarify a few things.  I am not bashing anybody.  I want people to think about what they believe and why they believe, being able to defend that belief with Scripture.  When I say “Calvinism”, I am using the term as an example of a label that people use.  It could be substituted with whatever belief system you have i.e. Arminianism, Easy-Believism, Lordship Salvationist, the list goes on.

            Anyhow, these labels, what purpose do they serve? Actually they are quite well.  If someone knows what you are talking about (i.e. Calvinism vs. Arminianism) it can be quite easy to identify yourself to them by stating “Hey I am a 5-point Calvinist” and they know exactly what you are talking about.  Labels work quite well in that respect.  The danger with this is that it is easy, as stated above, to start to interpret Scripture through that lens rather than with an open mind, as the way it should be.

            They have been great for my own personal edification.  I am able to find books on the topic specifically with Scripture which can be, on your own, looked at in the proper context.

            To say that labeling yourself is necessary is wrong.  It sure is useful though.  We must be careful to not get so caught up in the label.  Interpret Scripture carefully within its proper context and with an open mind.  Don’t go reading tons of books on the topic getting your Scripture from biased sources, go to the Word.  Of course look at these sources, but look at both sides of the issue and figure out for yourself what Scripture actually says from the context of each passage.

            My conclusion to this is that labels have their place in my life.  I do label myself a 5-point Calvinist, a Lordship Salvationist, a sinner saved by grace!  Nevertheless, one must be careful to use Scripture as their source.  Figure out what you believe for yourself.  Don’t get caught up in what someone else may believe and agree with it without looking for yourself.

            While reading these books it seems that they are interpreting Scripture through their lenses.  Yes John Calvin was an excellent exegete of Scripture, nevertheless, and maybe they have, figure it out for yourself.  The authors defend the positions of the respective “founders” of the label, CBF: Armenian.  PF: John Calvin.  Don’t defend John Calvin.  Defend Jesus Christ.

Leanring about God's Will

            The school semester has ended but the learning still continues.  Schooling is difficult but there was something else about this semester.  The last month and a half of the semester I was challenged to live by faith.  It is one thing to have a faith in something but quite another to actually do something about it.

            The year began as expected.  Last semester ended on a great note and began on an even better note.  As the year went on, I began to gain… an attraction to someone.  Never did I go to Calvary Bible College to find a wife.  Never did I accept a “youth leader” position at a church to find a wife.  Yet the last month and a half something happened.  I noticed someone!

            She has a heart for God and she is a God-gifted teacher.  There are many other things that I could say, but I’ll spare the details.  Anyways, as this “thing” grew I knew what had to be done.  I kept praying and considering her as a possibility that God may have as a wife for me in the future.  As the possibility grew, I decided to act.

            I’ve been reading a lot on leadership and Biblical manhood.  What is it? What exactly does God call us to do? How do we lead? As a pastor? As a husband?  So as I seek out what exactly I am called to do, I do know how to act in this circumstance.  Biblically the woman is under the father’s authority, so I went to talk to her father who was open to talking.

            How does an attraction and walking in faith coincide? The weeks that led up to me talking to her father were hard.  They were full of questions, concerns, even doubts that built up.  I struggled getting into God’s Word meaningfully and actually learning from it.  Though I do not remember the exact date, though I think that it was the 8^th of December, I do remember that it was a Wednesday, probably the 5^th.  That whole week was bad.  Monday and Tuesday was rough.  I was just trying to make it through.  Wednesday rolled around and I needed something to pick me up.  After Genesis class, I had an hour before Romans class started.  I went back to my room and I began to read my Bible.  After that I just gave it all to God.  That hour was so relieving.  I loved it, surrendering everything to God.  That, I discovered, is what Biblical leadership really is.  That is was real Biblical manhood really is.  Complete surrender to the Lord God and His will.

            The faith to talk to her father was dwindling.  I was unsure of what to do.  That hour gave me strength and faith that was much needed.  I realized that I tried to walk through this on my own strength.  That time I used to read and pray got my feet back on the Solid Ground of Christ.  The faith in Christ is what gave me the strength to do what I did, talking to her father.

            So we talked about many things.  While we talked about many things, he and I discussed what I came to talk about.  He kept eyes on the human perspective, of where he sees her going and where I think the Lord is leading me for a career.  While there was the human perspective, there was also the divine perspective of God has His will and He will do what needs to be done to accomplish said will.

            I told him that I would talk to her and I did, the following week.  It was Saturday, the 15^th of December.  I wanted to talk the day prior but the Lord did not allow for that.  So Saturday came and after a men’s Bible study and a few things afterwards, the time came.  It was one of those feelings that I just had to do it.  So I did.  I asked her to talk with me, so we went out to the back.  Again, she told me what her father had already said, but again we stressed a divine perspective.  A huge burden left me when that talk was done.

            Walking by faith… God is good.  He will guide His children.  That He has promised in His Word.

            I am hesitant in putting this post up, nevertheless I do because these instances in my life have proven useful for others.  These are simply occurrences in my life that have been showing God’s awesome mighty work in my life.  Though many of the details are not specific, which is the way I want, I recognize that this instance is a stepping stone in my life.  I have learned what it means to trust in God in the most important decision in my life and while what will happen will happen, I do not regret anything for God has proven Himself to me as a sovereign, almighty God who watches and cares for His children.  He gives them wisdom and patience when they ask.  He is an awesome God who has taught me so much!!!