Up until
about a year ago, if someone were to ask me: “Hey is there just one girl out
there for you to marry?” I would have said emphatically “YES!!!” But now I am not so emphatic, if not I’m
downright “I don’t know!” Let me explain…
Due to the
questioning of some friends who challenged my belief, I began to question
myself. A lot of “what-if’s” started
entering my mind and a few excellent points were made. So I think a better answer may that ideally
“yes” but practically there are plenty of women/men that could best suit you
and your needs.
Allow me to
explain, I believe ideally God has that “perfect” spouse for you. If you think about it, you get married to one
person. Are you really going to question
yourself even after you are married? Well there you go, they are the “perfect”
spouse for you. With the permanence of
marriage, it seems pretty cut and dry that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). Also marriage is used as an analogy between
Christ and the church (Eph. 5). Marriage
is an important concept in God’s plan. Marriage
is permanent, just like salvation, there is nothing two sinners that are saved
by grace cannot work through with the help of Christ and the Holy Spirit. Yes I don’t believe believers should divorce,
period, no exceptions (Maybe someday I’ll do a post on the so-called “Exception
Passage” of Matthew 19). So marriage is
permanent, “till death do us part!”
Alright so
the person I’ve married, or will marry is the “one”, but you’re telling me she
is the “only one”!?!? I used to say
“yeah”, now I’ll say “maybe”. Why?
Because, to be honest, there are plenty of people out there that may be a great
companion for you. All I have to offer
is my experience, never dating, but the few girls I have seriously liked, I
liked them because they would make a great companion for me. At least I believe that, but you could ask
them if you want.
But none of
them worked out… my point exactly. They
could have but they didn’t. Does that
mean there is only one? Maybe so, maybe not.
I don’t
believe in dating around. I don’t think
that is at all something that we should do.
Yet dating just one person may not work for everyone either. It’ll work for me because I gave that area to
God and yes He will provide, I’ve seen Him provide because I have yet to date
any girl. Yes I believe that is His
provision on that promise. Yes I believe
that if anyone were to do what I did, God will provide. Why not? I did this very early on in my life
of wanting to date. Of course that may
also be why I believe that there may only be just one girl for me. Yeah I can be that dense.
I believe
that God will grant my desire and I believe that anyone that surrenders that
area to God, He will provide. Why not?
It sure makes for a great testimony of marriage.
Jakob,
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, this post confused me a lot. :)
Like you, I have given my decision for a future spouse to the Lord. Although I know that there are many people I could marry and live a even full and good life with, I do believe that in God's will for my life, He does have one special individual in mind for me.
Now we could err and marry someone different then that, and then at that point it would be God's will for you to stay married. I think it's the difference in God's perfect and God's permissive will.
I'll have to give it further thought...that was just a guess.
I do know this, there are dreams and desires God has created in me that I don't yet understand, and while I may be perfectly happy with someone outside of God's perfect will, I believe He is creating someone that will match the odd passions and goals of my heart.
But I don't know, how about I let you know in a few years? Until then I strongly believe that while there may be many people I could happily live the rest of my life with, there is one man out there that God in His perfect will has put me together with. (The difference of what is good and what is best).
I will be giving this further thought... :)
Hey Jakob, I really liked your post! And I agree with you completely--I personally have thought about this subject countless times..and I still don't know whether God has one specific person that He's preparing for me, or if there are several potentials that could end up being "the one".
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts!!
Jake, being a married gal I truly believe that there is one perfect person for everyone. If my math and my guess as to how old you are, I was just a handful of years older than you are now when I met Jim. I've learned in dating is to go into the relationship knowing what you would like in a person . . . personality, sense of humor all that and above all for us Christians a love and desire to serve him first and foremost. It took me what felt like a long time and lots of heart ache to come to that. I met Jim just after one of those heart aches of a man that I thought was the one but after some time dating I learned that he was not the one that God wanted for me but what I wanted for me. He met all the 'requirements' but was not the 'gift of a mate' God wanted for me. I met Jim, went into the relationship still with that list but also praying that I also have the heart and mind set of 1 Chor. 13. That that chapter would come to life in our relationship if Jim was the 'one'. I prayed that not only I would have that chapter be my #1 but that if Jim was the perfect one that God would show me that chapter was important to him too and that is how he would treat our 'love' for each other. Its late as I write this so I am not sure as to if this makes any sense at all. It amazing when God does being the one to you and you pray about it and God just clicks that light bulb on and you realize that so this is what its like to love the one you were meant to. If this doesn't make sense let me know and maybe we can sit and chat some time.
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