Leanring about God's Will

            The school semester has ended but the learning still continues.  Schooling is difficult but there was something else about this semester.  The last month and a half of the semester I was challenged to live by faith.  It is one thing to have a faith in something but quite another to actually do something about it.

            The year began as expected.  Last semester ended on a great note and began on an even better note.  As the year went on, I began to gain… an attraction to someone.  Never did I go to Calvary Bible College to find a wife.  Never did I accept a “youth leader” position at a church to find a wife.  Yet the last month and a half something happened.  I noticed someone!

            She has a heart for God and she is a God-gifted teacher.  There are many other things that I could say, but I’ll spare the details.  Anyways, as this “thing” grew I knew what had to be done.  I kept praying and considering her as a possibility that God may have as a wife for me in the future.  As the possibility grew, I decided to act.

            I’ve been reading a lot on leadership and Biblical manhood.  What is it? What exactly does God call us to do? How do we lead? As a pastor? As a husband?  So as I seek out what exactly I am called to do, I do know how to act in this circumstance.  Biblically the woman is under the father’s authority, so I went to talk to her father who was open to talking.

            How does an attraction and walking in faith coincide? The weeks that led up to me talking to her father were hard.  They were full of questions, concerns, even doubts that built up.  I struggled getting into God’s Word meaningfully and actually learning from it.  Though I do not remember the exact date, though I think that it was the 8^th of December, I do remember that it was a Wednesday, probably the 5^th.  That whole week was bad.  Monday and Tuesday was rough.  I was just trying to make it through.  Wednesday rolled around and I needed something to pick me up.  After Genesis class, I had an hour before Romans class started.  I went back to my room and I began to read my Bible.  After that I just gave it all to God.  That hour was so relieving.  I loved it, surrendering everything to God.  That, I discovered, is what Biblical leadership really is.  That is was real Biblical manhood really is.  Complete surrender to the Lord God and His will.

            The faith to talk to her father was dwindling.  I was unsure of what to do.  That hour gave me strength and faith that was much needed.  I realized that I tried to walk through this on my own strength.  That time I used to read and pray got my feet back on the Solid Ground of Christ.  The faith in Christ is what gave me the strength to do what I did, talking to her father.

            So we talked about many things.  While we talked about many things, he and I discussed what I came to talk about.  He kept eyes on the human perspective, of where he sees her going and where I think the Lord is leading me for a career.  While there was the human perspective, there was also the divine perspective of God has His will and He will do what needs to be done to accomplish said will.

            I told him that I would talk to her and I did, the following week.  It was Saturday, the 15^th of December.  I wanted to talk the day prior but the Lord did not allow for that.  So Saturday came and after a men’s Bible study and a few things afterwards, the time came.  It was one of those feelings that I just had to do it.  So I did.  I asked her to talk with me, so we went out to the back.  Again, she told me what her father had already said, but again we stressed a divine perspective.  A huge burden left me when that talk was done.

            Walking by faith… God is good.  He will guide His children.  That He has promised in His Word.

            I am hesitant in putting this post up, nevertheless I do because these instances in my life have proven useful for others.  These are simply occurrences in my life that have been showing God’s awesome mighty work in my life.  Though many of the details are not specific, which is the way I want, I recognize that this instance is a stepping stone in my life.  I have learned what it means to trust in God in the most important decision in my life and while what will happen will happen, I do not regret anything for God has proven Himself to me as a sovereign, almighty God who watches and cares for His children.  He gives them wisdom and patience when they ask.  He is an awesome God who has taught me so much!!!